About two weeks ago I posted a story on Instagram about Wedding Etiquette 101. As we have been planning our wedding for the last eight months, there really hasn’t been anything anyone has done that has totally shocked me. That was until we sent out our invitations. I had heard from friends in the past the crazy things guests have done, but when I posed the question on Instagram I couldn’t believe the responses I received. Throughout this post, I am going to share the responses I collected!
I am not an expert on Wedding Etiquette, but I sure feel like I am learning quickly. All these opinions are my own, but there are certain factors that I believe go into deciding your guest list.
- First and foremost you need to figure out your wedding budget. This is super important!
- From there you are going to start thinking about the type of venue you would like to hold your reception. For us we knew we would be inviting well over 300 people, so we had to look for a venue that:
- Had room for that many people and worked within our budget and vision.
- Remember just because a venue holds 400 people doesn’t mean you have to invite that many guests! You could go well over your budget then.
- Once we selected our location, we met with both of our parents to discuss the guest list. One thing I expressed, was that I didn’t want to say “nice to meet you!” to anyone at my wedding. I really want people there that I know!
Determining who gets a plus one:
Anyone that is Married! After opening up this conversation to my friends I heard from a friend that the wife of a couple could make it to her wedding, but the husband couldn’t. Their daughter wanted her mom to bring one of her friends. Absolutely not! This invitation is for a married couple, not half of the married couple and whoever they want to bring.
Engaged, Living together or in a Serious relationship:
Another decision that was easier for us! I would note, make sure you know the guest’s name of your friend/ family member you are inviting. Something else we thought of when making this decision is if we didn’t know you were in a relationship, we probably weren’t going to extend a plus one.
Casually Dating/ Single
This is where it can get gray. Since our list was getting to be extremely out of control and we were feeling tight on our budget we chose not to give people in our wedding party or other guests who were single or casually dating a plus one.
This is dependent on the kind of wedding you want to have or the number of children in your family. My cousins basically all have kids now, my friends have or are starting to have kids and this is somewhere we needed to draw the line. The only children that will be invited to our wedding our my niece and nephew because they will be in it.
Maybe you are reading this post and you feel the same way I do and you can’t believe how incredibly rude people are. Or maybe you are someone who has asked for a plus one before, told someone you were bringing someone to their wedding, written in a dates name or just showed up with a guest. I just am really trying to understand why?
I have been invited to weddings when I was seriously dating someone and I didn’t get a plus one. I didn’t call my family, or my cousin and ask to bring a guest because there were a reason and process behind why I didn’t get one.
I urge you to think before you ask and remember that this potentially is one of the most expensive moments of someone’s life. But if you feel so passionate about asking why you didn’t get a plus one really think about your delivery. The Bride and Groom are extremely stressed, emotionally exhausted and trying to make everyone else happy including themselves. You may think oh it’s just one, two or three more people, but you don’t know how many other people are also asking them. For me, this isn’t a backyard BBQ and I don’t appreciate someone doing this. I have been firm and I have put my foot down because I feel like this is one of the most important times in my life that I can!
Thanks for stopping by and opening up the conversation! Special shoutout to all my anonymous friends who shared their experiences when planning their wedding!